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1 Samuel 1:27
Have you every prayed for something really hard? What was it?
They were looking into adopting a little girl to be our sister. At the time, it was very difficult to adopt at home in the United States so they started looking in Central and South America.
Mom also prayed every night - a very different prayer than ours. She too prayed to find a little girl to adopt. It had been a long hard journey for her. Longer and harder than my brother and I would know until we were adults and heard the rest of the story.
Mom would pray, “Dear Lord, if you can forgive me, please give me a little girl.” She had also prayed this prayer while pregnant with both my brother and I. And had one boy after the other. Now, understand, I have never doubted my mother’s love! It wasn’t about ‘not’ wanting a boy. It was deeper.
Sworn to secrecy, when my mother was a teenager she had given birth to a baby and been forced to put it up for adoption. She hadn’t held the baby upon birth or seen it for more than a brief glimpse as it was taken away. And it wasn’t until a year after the birth that she was sure, she had given birth to a little girl. She had to sign the adoption papers. And she saw her name: Wendy. Wiping the tears away from her eyes, she looked at the name again. Wendy had been the nickname her father had for her when growing up - and he was the man who was forcing this adoption. Agony. Guilt. Pain.
We know God doesn’t punish us for things other people have done to us. But, that is not something easily believed every year on your child’s birthday when you cannot hold her because you signed the papers.
As Teddy and I prayed for a little sister, our beautiful mother prayed for forgiveness. “Dear Lord, if you can forgive me, please give me a little girl.”
And then they flew to Nicaragua. They came back - without a baby. A little girl had been chosen and she would come home on the next trip. Our sister was sick from malnutrition and needed to be nursed to health in a hospital. Now, Teddy and I prayed, “Dear Jesus please keep our little sister safe until she is well enough to come home.”
When my parents came home after the next trip, Teddy and I were both amazed at the answer to our prayers. We had been praying for a sister to share but, instead, Jesus had given us both a sister! A miracle of two mothers’ souls meeting on the steps of the hospital had resulted in more rushed paperwork and two healthy baby girls - Petia and Jacinta. One for Teddy and One for Davy.
But for our mother, it was deeper - so much deeper. In giving her two baby girls, God have given her a double portion of His matchless forgiveness. Not because God had been holding anything against her but because He knew she needed it.
God’s like that.
Patriarchs and Prophets, 569-572