Once upon a time in a land far deeper than most, there lived a family of oysters. These oysters had some very odd beliefs, as did most of the other sea creatures. The strangest of these beliefs was that the Great Levitating Ocean God would return soon. The oysters and their cousins, the octopuses and squids, affectionately called this God "GLOG," which was merely an acronym for His full name. They were quite sure he would not be offended if he knew.
The oldest of the elders were not alive the last time that GLOG passed over their home. Therefore they had only the legends and stories of recent sightings elsewhere to hold on to. Occasionally GLOG would pass near enough that the entire ocean floor would resonate from his singing. It was at these times that reverence for GLOG would return to the oyster community and some of the adolescent oysters would come back to the religious meetings.
There were a number of reasons that the molluscs worshiped GLOG. First of all, he was huge. There was no form of measurement known to the oysters or their cousins by which one could measure the length, or even the width of GLOG. One legend said that if all the oysters lined up on the ocean floor they would not be able to match the length of GLOG.
Secondly, GLOG was not bound to the ocean floor. He mysteriously hovered far above. Some of the octopuses even claimed to have seen GLOG completely leave the water and return moments later with a terrific crash. This was unimaginable to the oysters. In fact, many lifetimes ago, a GLOGian octopus philosopher had been privileged to attach all eight of his suction cup covered legs to GLOG for a brief period of time. During this time GLOG launched himself out of the water and Octoposious (the philosopher) was torn loose on re-entry to the ocean. It was because of this experience that Octoposious later wrote the immortal words, "A fish does not realize that he is in water, until he is in air." This, of course, was beyond comprehension for the oysters. But they were sure it was a great truth.
Thirdly, GLOG lived forever. As far as oysterian history as well as collective molluscan history went back, there have always been records of GLOG. GLOG was past, present, and future. He was eternal.
It was the religion of the oysters to be as GLOGlike as possible. They knew that they were incapable of leaving the ocean floor on their own. The oysters also knew that they could never be as big as GLOG. But this was okay, because only GLOG was worthy of his supreme size. Molluscs have very short lifespans and so eternal life on the ocean floor was out of the question.
The fundamental truth of GLOGery was that soon GLOG would return, take the worthy molluscs to his home, give them the ability to levitate, and give them eternal life. This was the dream of every religious mollusc. So they spent their days learning to sing GLOGerian chants, did their best to treat each other nicely, and spent a lot of time listening to the elders pontificate on the finer intricacies of GLOG.
One day music could be felt on the ocean floor. All of the oysters came out from under their rocks and began looking up through the murky mass of water. Soon the massive body of GLOG could be seen above them. Some of the wayward oysters ran back under their rocks and begged the others to crush them.
Slowly, some of the oysters began to rise off of the ocean floor. Most of those ascending to the surface were the elders and the very young. The elders, who had been tormented by nonGLOGerian molluscs and called "spineless fools" by other sea creatures, now felt elated. Their days of asking, "When will the evil in this land be stopped?" were over. The day of vindication had finally arrived. The young, who still had unspoiled faith, giggled with glee because they knew this was going to happen all along. The entire group formed a circle and joined GLOG in singing the song of absolution as they continued floating to the surface.
The others, hiding under the rocks, knew it was their own fault they weren't on their way to GLOG's home. They all had plenty of time to change and were warned of GLOG's soon return repeatedly. Now they closed their shells in shame.
It was for those oysters who failed to believe, as well as for us in comparison, that Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote, "I suppose you could never prove to the mind of the most ingenious mollusc that such a creature as a whale was possible."
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